Elderly Ring

Elden Ring is a hard game. Even the people who are very, very, very good at it agree it is a hard game. It is designed to be such, and I respect it. As someone who has, at best, a mail-in rebate speed between brain and hands I knew the moment it came out it was not for me.

And yet, in 2026, I have decided to play it anyway.
Don't get me wrong.
This isn't some growth mindset concept that I can challenge my own preconception.
It is still not for me.

But it occurred to me that it would be hilarious to have my children suffer me catastrophizing through it. Thing 2 is playing through it for the first time as well, so they're scouting ahead (for as long as I stay on piste) which is helpful for me and infuriating for them. So far, so good.

I do love the gorgeous world and so far I love to go exploring and then almost immediately getting in way over my head. For reference, I can play for about an hour at a time before I get too overwhelmed by all the dying and backtracking, and have to retreat back into reading a book with a biscuit and a cup of tea. If I do this, it's gonna be a 6 month journey.

Playing games, video games, board games and TTRPGs, is one of my favourite wats to connect to my increasingly grown up children. It's been at least two console generations since I could seriously beat them at Mario Kart. They construct incredible works of art in Minecraft. One of them speedruns Portal 2 and is some wild rank in Marvel Rivals. The other is, like, head of the army in Helldivers 2 (I don't really know how Helldivers 2 works.)

Me, I play every game on the easiest possible setting, and if it isn't turn-based, I will learn exactly one combo and spam that all the way through.

You can see how watching my play Elden Ring can only result in us forging the tightest of familial bonds ...

I've already proposed a one-off podcast called Elderly Ring for a chance for both Things to rant at me about all the stupid things I do, across however long I play.